September 29.. 2011
hi all. thanks for the computer in the trash even though it was a dell. the shift and comma keys don’t work so no caps or commas probably why somebody chunked it.
anyway great ideas bobby love the qdcsm rating. might i suggest color coding each for example red s would be an urgent safety concern yellow c important but not urgent and a green c less urgent. we could also use bold caps to emphasize each color to it’s maximum importance. maybe non bold caps for a lesser importance of each color. with this system we would have 30 possible combinations to sort and designate the importance of our suggestions. just a thought. like you i have plenty of free time.
since i don’t come in the building with you crazy people could you post stuff outside where i can participate.
hey can some one get me some sun glasses this new parking lot is killing me.
this email was in response to the following…
If this new email suggestion box is intended as a starting point of a suggestion program it is a wonderful idea and you and the board should be commended. You and the board may have all the bases covered but please allow me to make a few suggestions that may not have been considered. 1. Guide lines should be established for the program to ensure that the box is used for suggestions to improve the life and health of the association and its residents and not used as a random complaint center. You may want to establish categories for suggestions such as Q, D, C, S. M. Q being the Quality of work, services, communications etc. D being Deliver-ales. Do we do what we say and deliver on time each and every time? C being the Cost to run our operation. S being Safety of our residents, employees, guests and service personnel. M being the Moral of of residents and employees.
2. Establish a small committee of board members and residents to evaluate the merit and cost to implement the suggestions received.
3. Establish a time limit on giving the person making the suggestion feedback. It is important that each suggester receives feedback as the person making the suggestion thinks it is important. Without feedback people will stop making suggestions and the program will fail. Suggest a 30day time line be established for some kind of feedback. It may be that more information is needed or more time is needed to determine the cost to implement.
4. Establish a payback guideline. Payback meaning a comparison of cost to implement vs the benefit. I admit in some cases that this is difficult especially when it comes to safety and the true cost of an injury. People will understand if their suggestion is turned down because the payback is too long.
5. Post all suggestions either on our web site or bulletin board. This will serve not only to keep suggestions professional and on the mark but it may inspire other suggestions or help from others with suggestions already submitted. 6. Establish and publish what information is needed when a suggestion is submitted.
Good luck with the suggestion program. I already have some suggestions in mind.
September 30.. 2011
just a couple of suggestions for the suggestion box
1. next time one of you all throws out a computer you might want to think about erasing the hard drive. this thing is the holy grail of condodem. make your tail stand up straight.
2. code red reverse the locks on the doors. you people need to be locked in not locked out. i’m looking in at a virtual ken kesey novel here. excuse me mum….time for your meds. we are talking pulitzer
crap my paw got caught in the space bar
talking pulitzer prize here.
hey has anyone got a charger for this thi
September 30.. 2011
thanks to the nice lady for bringing me a charger. always been good to me. my suggestion to her…put bob seger s roll me away on the ipod and ride that big puppy into the sunset. be sure and come back i ll be hugry in a few hours.
i understand there is another wine and whine party this weekend. you know blah blah blah…moan moan moan.
just a passing breeze filled with memories
the days of wine and roses and you
whoa i love andy williams.
anyway would it kill one of you girls to throw a cat a cheesy bit off the balcony once in a while. no stuffed olives….they give me gas.
enjoy the party.
October 2.. 2011
reading for sunday october 2 2011
habakkuk chapter 1 verses 3-4
oooo-eeeee a pool side homeowners meeting. can you send zz top out for a couple of buckets of chicken and a cheese plater. i always make out pretty good after these things. several of you always manage to drop a plate or two. so the brain trust has settled the lawsuit.
the yoke of oppression has been lifted. ring the church bells cue the music and turn up the volume
see everyone next week
it has come to my attention through some of my kind readers that yesterdays emailing didn’t include all of you so im taking this opportunity to resend. i must have been working on my non residents mailing. anyway a few thoughts.
1. zz may want to consider an extra bucket of chicken. those local news guys always come hungry.
2. while i appreciate your overwhelming responses please dont be too wordy. we almost overloaded my email server yesterday.
3. please take time to view the awesome video and listen to the inspiring music. just click the link below. as one resident emailed me that last scene brought tears to my eyes. whoa…me too.
thank you for all the kind responses to the music video. but whats not to like about tchaikovsky. hey it wasnt wagner was it. your gratitude in cheesy bits is always appreciated.
can i be on the rules committee. i d make a great enforcer. writing letters and stuff. you know like i saw what you did. stop that or we ll have you flogged. or i saw where you parked. next time we ll put a denver boot on your car and it can sit there until its a pile of rust dust. or i saw you sneaking around breaking our rules. try acting your physical age verus your mental age. next time we ll tie you naked to a lobby column. come on i m a natural for this.
so im cruising around doing a little recon. tapping the comcast line and im hearing that almost no one knew about the book of habakkuk yes i know wc did but the rest of you. come on. ok its between nahum and zephaniah. really. nothing. alright lets try this. in a standard 4 pound 2 3/8 inch thick annotated reference edition its about 1 1/2 inches from the front. im looking in at a building full of bachelor degrees. masters degrees. phds. almost phds. multiple phds. and a self proclaimed genius. ok maybe more than one. you as a group are truly educated beyond your intelligence. you have the time energy and money to sue each other over as i believe big kenny on four said “…inadequate information…”! That’s it? copy and paste. cool. but you cant find habakkuk. seems almost sacrilegious but you could have googled it. the money that was spent exercising your self righteousness would have bought over a years worth of kibbles cheesy bits and a nice electric blanket for those cold winter nights i spend in the parking garage. yes those same nights your heating your cozy lairs with your ambiance only fire place. so for wc i suggest matthew chapter 5 verse 9 the rest of you try the same chapter verses 43-47. matthew is about 1/32 inches past habakkuk. as you read my email grinding and gnashing your teeth over the violation of the separation of church and cat i have to say too bad. its a tough world out here just ask the losers.
matthew chapter 25 verse 40
whoa people. settle down. im out and about and all i keep hearing is.. are you going to the meeting tonight. oh yeh wouldnt miss it. gonna be a real donnybrook. whoa. be calm. take a couple of deep breaths. here let me help. about 5 30 make yourself a nice cup of camomile tea. relax put on some soothing music. here. lets make it easy. nothing like a soft melodic ballad by judy collins. just click on the link below and enjoy.
now when you go out to the meeting and things get a little stressful just hum this nice melody to yourself. maybe you’ll notice your neighbor doing the samething. maybe everyone bursts into song together and viola your all having a good time. whoa i love musicals.
life is short. unless you have 9. relax
so for those of you who did not attend the meeting tonight whether from sheer apathy or a physical or mental infirmity here is a summary of what has happened over the last 12 months including the big law suit.
by the way where was the other plaintiff.
plaintiffs – we want to see everyones private stuff.
board – no.
plaintiffs – but we want to.
plaintiffs- we will sue.
board- still no.
sheriff- youre sued. they want to see your private stuff.
you guys- oh crap.
plaintiffs- we want to see the private stuff.
lawyer- theres a law.
plaintiffs- but we want to see it.
lawyer- still a law.
plaintiffs- you sure.
lawyer- no private stuff.
lawyer- quit bothering the board and get the other stuff from xxxxxxxxx.
plaintiffs shill- hey everyone see how they saved you from this terrible board.
ok……i know…i know……hang on…whoa… me too…laughing…oh goodness..breathe…
what was the first line of that song.
isnt it rich. are we a pair
oh heck listen for yourself ive got to catch my breathe.
last line.…well maybe next year.
i hope no one calls me a plaintiff.
reading for today is lamentations chapter 5 verses 21-22.
have a good sunday people.
while many of you have encouraged me to be on the rules or cost containment committees i have not received a response from the powers that be. i am still thinking id be good working with bobby on cost containment.
we know its dark in here
get a flashlight and quit whining
whose shower is that i hear running
you dont live in the hall.. go back in your unit
but maybe the people making all these committee decisions would consider me for the lobby art committee.
some of you have seen me sitting on the front steps peering in. no i don t want in. see previous emails. trust me i don t want in. but what the heck happened to the lobby.
let s get to the point do you all really consider that art on the wall. as ignatius j. reilly screamed to the new orleans ladies art guild you women had better stop giving teas and settle down to the business of learning how to draw. first you must learn how to handle a brush. i would suggest that you all get together and paint someones house for a start.
after looking at what you people call art im so dizzy i can t even jump up on charlottes wall. you could at least have had an art show with cheesy bits. heres my suggestion.
i understand we can get these on black velvet also. and notice that it doesn’t clash with that awesome piece of punkin art on the table.
ready to help whip this place back into shape.
ive been informed that my art suggestion did not make it onto your emails today so i have attached it for your viewing pleasure. damn dell wont do what i want…can anyone throw a cat an ipod.
whoa, sweetiekins calm thy little jackal heart. if you guys have one.
all this over an art critique, i think not. however if one is to investigate and explore and like….. then one should investigate and explore all the arts in the same manner….for instance the art of literature.
had you bothered to investigate the quote of my email…perhaps by simply pasting it into the google box…you might have found the pulitzer prize winning work it came from. and….with a hair more investigation the epigraph by jonathon swift that the title of the work is derived from. but then i guess your little jackal knees were jerking far too much for this exercise.
so now with the above in mind i believe you have become the first member of the confederacy.
as nabokov once said satire is a lesson..parody is a game.
pick your poison dear jackal.
oh..by the way..you guys taste like chicken. cluck cluck
this was in response to the following email..
You have worn out your welcome with me–at first you were kinda cute, but you’ve gotten a little too frisky–too critical, too rude, too ungrateful, and too unkind. Actually Lilly, you’re a trouble maker and I am ashamed of you.
No one likes all “art”. Art is to investigate and explore and like it . . . or not like it. Only idiots refuse to look at anything they don’t already love.
Here’s MY manifesto . . . it’s time for you to go away. HARK . . . what was that noise? . . . is it coyotes? . . . . ooooooooOOOOOO . o o o o o o. . . .
I feel like a ‘ dunce’ , Lilly, and I don’t want to be part of THAT confederacy……I did’t realize at first when I got your response to my e-mail that you completely missed the point. My e-mails are not for the purpose of debating, or even discussing, ART or Literature , but to point out that it’s time for you to remove your voice and opinions from xxxxxxxx dialogue. No more tastleless, rude comments about anything.
Meanwhile, we can have a treasure hunt for a little tolerance and peace. That will be the real prize.
Should we meet in the lobby under the clock..oops..the punpkin?
oh dear me coyote.. no..no you are not a dunce and i shall remove you from the confederacy. i must confess and apologize for using you as a foil. i knew from your comments about art that you were getting it. my voice is easily removed..but first allow me an analogy a parody perhaps ..for all that will continue to hear….
think of your condo as wonderland…. and as in wonderland we are all in the middle of an enormous chess game …with the queen of hearts and her king on one side and dear alice on the other. on the chess board are all the knights..bishops..and pawns of each side. getting the picture people.
bishops with committees of pawns that seek to control all we do. rules for this and rules for that. rules in green binders and rules in blue binders. committees to tell us what art to like and how long it should hang on the wall. pawns to tell us where and where not to park. pawns to decide what table or mirror goes where. pawns to decide what amenities you will have and when.
my job is to report on the game albeit often with a wicked bit of humor. and to silence me one only has to leave the game..dont play.
then i will remove your name.. as i am removing yours..dear coyote..from the list. and you get to leave wonderland behind…but like lots wife .. please don’t look back.
and when you leave..please
enjoy your neighbors
do unto others……..
sit in the lobby and visit
sit in the lobby and enjoy the art
dont worry when some one parks in the wrong spot
do you remember when harry would forget and leave his car out front and nobody cared. i miss that and i miss harry.
open the door for someone
help carry their groceries
get the picture. i will unfortunately continue to report from wonderland until there are no more players..
and you dear coyote..live life so others will follow.
someday all of you will sit together and wonder…..was it parody or satire….and hopefully..like my cousin from cheshire..you will remember my smile.
good bye dear coyote…dont look back.
when men on the chessboard
get up and tell you where to go
and youve just had some kind of mushroom
and your mind is moving slow
go ask alice
i think she ll know
when logic and proportion
have fallen sloppy dead
and the white knight is talking backwards
and the red queens ..off with her head
remember what the dormouse said
keep your head
keep your head
i guess the handwriting is on the wall. the pooh bahs establishing the current rash of condo committees… to tell you all how to live.. have decided not to accept my generous offers to serve.
but why should these few have all the fun of running the place with the amenities of a gulag.
soooo… ive decided to create my own ad hoc committee the orwell committee.
the purpose of the orwell committee will more or less be an oversight function. that is we will review the work of the other committees to ferret.. they also taste like chicken.. to ferret out the nitwittery of control that they will inevitably attempt to exercise. for those occasional instances when hubris overpowers even the merest iota of common sense…we will issue an orwellian award.
you will be emailed when an orwellian award has been issued. it will look like this…
the award winning entry will be posted below the above image.
yes.. i know this is all pretty exciting… and here is the good news… i am accepting a limited number of member volunteers for the orwellian committee. so be the first on your floor to sign up. dues are payable in cheesy bits. the first 3 members to sign up will receive a poster size electronic version of the above image.. suitable for framing.
“And if all others accepted the lie which the Party imposed-if all records told the same tale-then the lie passed into history and became truth. ‘Who controls the past’ ran the Party slogan, ‘controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.'” – George Orwell, 1984, Book 1, Chapter 3
yours in a better tomorrow
who knew it would come so quickly. this place is absolutely amazing. these emails practically write themselves.
anyway the first orwellian award goes to the suggestion that we tow away cars for parking violations…seriously…i am not making this up. so here it is…
park wrong and we tow
now i have taken a little heat lately about being harsh ……and maybe deservedly so……but towing your neighbors car away..really… oh lilly..how can we heal when you keep poking the coyote…well try healing when you have to call a cab to retrieve your car from the towing service.
when you turn on your fireplaces tomorrow remember little lilly out in the cold parking garage. oh… and remember those things are not for heat…you can only look at the fire…no heat. an electric blanket would be nice down here.
enjoy, and remember the blanket
i was about to write an update from the chess board in wonderland when it became apparent that another orwell award was in order. lately i have been called names…told to shut up…told to go away…and people have threatened to sue both me and the association…whoa…as yogi berra once said deja vu all over again. most recently people have attempted to trace my computer to silence me. whoa…seriously. people….the novel 1984 was not an instruction manual.
so for those who find my freedom of speech intolerable i give you the second orwell award…
so lets get this straight…first people wanted to see other peoples private stuff..now those people dont want other people to see their private stuff.
irony..how sweet. how could i ever make this up. ken kesey where are you.
anyway an announcement…
maybe there will be some private stuff to see and hear.
heres a suggestion for the agenda…make the building adults only…maybe that would end some of this childishness.
oh….and to those who have suggested i make this a blog……working on it.
big brother is
mark..chapter 13..verses 33..37
in response to me having insider information..
so heres my new privacy clause for my emails..
yo..if i didnt send you this email and youre reading it..ill have you dispatched quicker than a fat chipmunk. capiche.
no..just kidding. im not afraid of my emails being shared..feel free to send them to a friend..have fun.
but seriously..i do have a self proclaimed.. brilliant.. common sense suggestion for you people. when it comes to all of these new committees..this should be the criteria to serve..if you dont obey the rules…you cant make the rules. in other words.. if you are not obeying the current rules you must recuse yourself from serving on any of these committees that seek to make new rules for all of you people. i know..well crap..why didnt i think of that.
for example if youre doing your….whoa… chipmunk…gotta go.
when one of our residents passed away..
i didnt get to say goodbye to kxxxx.
this is for her…
Give me my robe, put on my crown; I have Immortal longings in me: now no more The juice of Egypt’s grape shall moist this lip: Yare, yare, good Iras; quick. Methinks I hear Antony call; I see him rouse himself To praise my noble act; I hear him mock The luck of Caesar, which the gods give men To excuse their after wrath: husband, I come: Now to that name my courage prove my title! I am fire and air; my other elements I give to baser life. So; have you done? Come then, and take the last warmth of my lips. Farewell, kind Charmian; Iras, long farewell.
Shakespeare Antony and Cleopatra Act 5 Scene 2
hey..i was sitting out front again looking at the new cocktail tables..so just what is a cocktail and why do you need a table for it..i mean if we were talking chipmunk tails here i could better understand. anyway..the store where you bought these tables didnt have electric blankets or electric kitty pads..geez i need a question mark here.
now i dont want to get ugly about this but ive been hacking you peoples email accounts and web browsers and believe me i have shown a lot of restraint lately..i mean some of the stuff you are saying to each other and suggesting..wooo eeeee..and your web history..whoa..double whoa. enough said for now.
so lets get back to this electric blanket..we are talkin 50 cents to a dollar per unit and im warm for the winter. you could put out a donation basket on your new cocktail tables for my blanket..look..spend one night with me out here and this will be a slam dunk. any money left over could go to cheesy bits.
and seriously..dont tell me about cost containment. you can see the pool all lit up from outer space..i think you can afford to be charitable to the condo cat.
not as young as i use to be
matthew chapter 25…verse 31-40
on this thanksgiving eve i am pondering all the things i have to be thankful for…
im still alive
i have this parking garage to live in albeit cold
the nice lady on 5 and jerry feed me
you people took care of my children
you had me fixed..i think im thankful
there are plenty of chipmunks
you tossed this ol dell so i can freely communicate
you people are tremendously entertaining
so what do you people have to be thankful for..do you really know..i hope so..and please don’t forget the least among you out here in the cold parking garage.
a very thankful
hope everyone ate well today. i know i did…nailed a fat acorn fed chippy by the pool..what a feast. anyway tomorrows the big sale day..i saw electric blankets in the belks ad.. sure there are plenty more out there..so lets remember the season and moi and get out there early tomorrow and snag a deal on an electric piece of cat heaven. remember im not sitting in front of an ambiance only fireplace and its getting a bit brisk out here. good shopping people ill be waiting and im pretty sure this purchase will be tax deductible. i am not for profit after all….unless you consider chipmunks profit.
a bench…a park bench….you people cant walk the 25 feet..not my feet..or so from the curb to the front door. what… those last three steps are mount everest.
gasp..sir edmund..gasp..i dont think i can reach the summit..gasp
aye..look ere mate..someone as left us a nice park bench to rest on.
so im sitting by the front door begging for kibbles..cheesy bits..and the electric blanket..pondering this park bench..when one of you opens the front door and..gasp..choke..my gawd is the marlborough man living in there or what..the stench of cigarette smoke will literally water your eyes. i had to go sit on the park bench and air out my fur. i know you had some foo foo in there for a while but that just made it smell like someone was smoking in a lilac patch.
so now i get the bench…you cant get from the curb to the front door because you cant get enough air through your tar encrusted lungs. gasp. glad i live outside.
hey.. wheres xxxxxy..what did you people do with mom..oh crap..it wasnt the smoke was it..
in response to an extremely vile email..
i was taking a little 17 day vacation..i mean..after that last missive from little miss sunshine and her pocket thesaurus..i figured a break was sorely needed. who knew she could be filled with such vitriol……poor baby.
anyway i am breaking silence to express my appreciation for the marvelous christmas lights out front. i hope it helps put you people in the spirit of the season..goodness knows it is needed. be sure and thank big d..or as i heard his mama call him at the pool last summer..mojito..for donating his efforts..not to mention the lights..for our pleasure. all of us outdoor creatures certainly enjoy them..well.. except ralphy the squirrel..who..uh..well..did something.. near wires to the dogwood tree.. he should not have and got quite a shock..he is ok..although a little dysfunctional since the incident.. but hey.. who would really notice around here.
and the star of daniel..whoa..bethlehem..good one danny boy..
Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer’s gone, and all the flowers are dying
‘Tis you, ’tis you must go and I must bide.
whoa..wheres a good tenor when you need one..im getting teary eyed.
people enjoy the lights..enjoy the season..thank mojito and danny..perhaps make them a little egg nog and a cheesy bit platter..and if this offends anyone.. dont write…… its christmas time.
hey..is that bench out front to sit on or is it some kind of k-3 art project..bet lms would look good in the minnie pearl hat.
Cry baby cry
Make your mother sigh
She’s old enough to know better
So cry baby cry cry cry cry baby
Make your mother sigh.
whoa.. i just heard the world was going to end december 21..2012. well crap.. i was just getting started with you people. gonna have to pack a lot more in this next year..fatten up the chippies this next year is gonna be a ride.
who ever regifted the copy of macbeth to me..thanks. glad it wasnt leather bound..that hide thing creeps me out. anyway..what floor does this shakespeare guy live on..i mean what parallels. double double toil and trouble…wooeee. ill report back when i finish.
one year to go..double double toil and trouble.
Luke 2 .. King James Version
1And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. 2(And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) 3And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. 4And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:) 5To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. 6And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. 7And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. 8And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. 9And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. 10And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. 11For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. 12And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. 13And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
14Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
just finished macbeth..thanks again..whoa the parallels..ive got macbeth and lady macbeth pegged..and poor duncan..i bet he lives on either 2 or 3. anyway here is one of my favorite parts..ive got the…oh youll get it…
ACT IV SCENE I. A cavern. In the middle, a boiling cauldron.
Thunder. Enter the three Witches First Witch Thrice the brinded cat hath mew’d.
this is my part…mew..mew..mew
Second Witch Thrice and once the hedge-pig whined.
Third Witch Harpier cries ‘Tis time, ’tis time.
First Witch Round about the cauldron go; In the poison’d entrails throw. Toad, that under cold stone Days and nights has thirty-one Swelter’d venom sleeping got, Boil thou first i’ the charmed pot.
ALL Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.
Second Witch Fillet of a fenny snake, In the cauldron boil and bake; Eye of newt and toe of frog, Wool of bat and tongue of dog, Adder’s fork and blind-worm’s sting, Lizard’s leg and owlet’s wing, For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
ALL Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble.
Third Witch Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf, Witches’ mummy, maw and gulf Of the ravin’d salt-sea shark, Root of hemlock digg’d i’ the dark, Liver of blaspheming Jew, Gall of goat, and slips of yew Silver’d in the moon’s eclipse, Nose of Turk and Tartar’s lips, Finger of birth-strangled babe Ditch-deliver’d by a drab, Make the gruel thick and slab: Add thereto a tiger’s chaudron, For the ingredients of our cauldron.
ALL Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble.
Second Witch Cool it with a baboon’s blood, Then the charm is firm and good.
Enter HECATE to the other three Witches
HECATE O well done! I commend your pains; And every one shall share i’ the gains; And now about the cauldron sing, Live elves and fairies in a ring, Enchanting all that you put in.
Second Witch By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes. Open, locks, Whoever knocks!
MACBETH How now, you secret, black, and midnight hags! What is’t you do?
ALL A deed without a name.
whoa..a deed without a name..i bet its..oh but we all know..let us skip a bit
First Witch Ay, sir, all this is so: but why Stands Macbeth thus amazedly? Come, sisters, cheer we up his sprites, And show the best of our delights: I’ll charm the air to give a sound, While you perform your antic round: That this great king may kindly say, Our duties did his welcome pay.
Music. The witches dance and then vanish, with HECATE
anyway thanks for the read..glad i live out here..
hey..new reads..william golding..an island..well this should be interesting.
i have been accused of being too erudite..thats high brow to those without a pocket thesaurus..in my sharing of my love for shakespeare..sorry i just find him so relevant.
anyway.. i have a great idea..since mohito went through all the time..labor..and expense to put up christmas lights for us….lets leave them up. now i know the christmas spirit cant go on all year..although it should..i mean you people were giving each other goodies and having parties and appeared to be getting along..just like the good old days..so lets keep the spirit going. now perhaps we can get mohito to change all the lights to red on february 1 so we could get into the valentine spirit. remember the mystery rose giver..all the ladies mysteriously received a rose..now that was cool. and i bet danny boy could morph his star into a big ol red heart..now we are talkin.
on march 1 we go with all green lights for saint pattys day..whew do i love this holiday..i must be irish..and danny can morph the heart into a big green shamrock..oh when irish eyes are smilin..
april we do something ecumenical for easter. and on through the year..at least until the world ends in december..349 days to go…and you people could continue being nice to each other..stop hunting the cat..give out some roses..have a few parties..quit worrying about who parks where..drink some green beer..have an easter egg hunt..maybe some cheesy bits..open the pool early and skinny dip..
what someone wants to take down the lights already..oh crap call the lawyers.
sweet chippies am im surprised at the response i have received regarding how many people liked the idea of leaving the lights up. so let me suggest to the pooh bahs who run the place that we consider permanent festive lighting. now im sure this will require some kind of committee and given the way these do nothing committees work we probably have a year or two before a decision of any sort is made…
the only committee that even meets around here is the who s the cat committee…all that clamoring for umpteen committees and where are they…hey we could have a new condo greeting…greeter..who duh cat..response..you duh cat……who duh cat..you duh cat. wasnt there a movie a few years ago with uma therman and lucy liu called kill bill…. how about a condo version called kill lill…lucy liu could play me..shed make a great cat ..whoa id be hot…hey the color thingy works. i need to find a rear view mirror and practice my lucy liu look….ooo ive digressed…sorry.
so how about a committee to investigate taking down the lights..that should give us a year or so while the committee to investigate permanent festive lighting is working. this place could look like a holiday on a cruise line…what a treat to come home to…we could get xxxxy some epaulets and a captains hat.
may..the month of may..cinco de mayo….light us up a pinata danny…tequila shooters at the pool everyone..skinny dip.
who duh cat
you duh cat
lucy lilly liu
so i guess since the pooh bahs have woosed out on the year round festive lights im going to have to return xxxxys epaulets. im still counting on danny for the big ol valentines heart. id make it so it could be displayed from inside the windows, you can bet the controllers have a rule about outside lights.
writing under a darkened landscape, a not so festive
whoa.. is there a kill lill committee meeting tonight.
i bet there will be whine..oops wine…..guess there is no chance of you girls throwing a cat a cheesy bit.
ALL Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble.
who duh cat you duh cat
some of you have been asking where ive been the last couple of weeks..i have been busy..listening..learning..and chasing chipmunks. in listening to you people.. i kind of find it interesting that my emails have been categorized as not fostering unity or a pleasant atmosphere within the xxxxxxxxx community and that i am not following the rules of civility. civility… civility
late 14c., “status of a citizen,” from civil + -ity. Later especially “good citizenship” (1530s). Also “state of being civilized” (1540s); “behavior proper to civilized persons” (1560s). Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2010 Douglas Harper
seems to me that suing your neighbors..costing everyone money and creating strife and division..is a tad more uncivil than the exercise of free speech…. via email..emails that no one is forced to read..but ignore a law suit and see what happens…unity..a pleasant atmosphere…right
seems to me that wanting the cat dead is not the pinnacle of civility..although.. even i see the humor of kill lill
seems to me that harassing those who have volunteered their time to work for the condo is less than civil
seems to me suggesting we tow parking violators is..just maybe..not the height of civility or a pleasant atmosphere
seems to me that questioning the sincerity of those who have volunteered is again..hardly civil
seems to me that attempting to impose the will of a disgruntled few does not fit either
seems to me a cuss fight in the lobby and telling your neighbor they need to move.. pretty much missed the mark
nasty notes on peoples cars…oh well
so civility….really..did anyone ever apologise for suing the association..or even say..gee…maybe that wasnt the best course of action…or did the few just continue to drink the kool aid and turn the focus on a cat with a satirical string of emails that could have easily been deleted or ignored. a string of emails that aired what a few wished to hide. so satire on your tv making fun of your president..your religion..and anything else is just fine..but let it cross your threshold and its uncivil..not a pleasant atmosphere……..for whom this place truly is wonderland…off with their heads…kill the cat…sue them…
keep your head keep your head
got the parking memo.
we have renters…really..
Whoa…ah come on…now i know ive been a little irritating..but this is uncalled for…i mean..its not like im not already in enough hot water..i was trying to be kinda good while i awaited the much anticipated rules rewrite and now this……
March 2012 ATLANTIC MAGAZINE
How Your Cat Is Making You Crazy
time to call the witness protection program.
currently in hiding
sweet fredericks of hollywood… i just love valentines day. so lets crack open a bottle of manischewitz..fire up the chocolate fondue pot and dip a couple of chipmunks.
i just learned a certain someone is returning from florida..wherever that is..and is bringing back a 20 lb..declawed..hunk of burning love…..well.. put ol butter butt out on the balcony and ill see he leaves here a 7 lb whimpering wreck ..who duh cat..you duh cat….
ohhhh when the moon hits your eyes like a cheesy bit pie..thats amore………..gotta go..
here listen to ol dino for yourself..
ive got to go up to the pool……
im hotter than a cat on a hot tin roof
who duh cat..whimper..you duh cat
where would id be without deep throat..my condo informant. im really getting confused about these new rules….it seems the board has yet to see a copy..although they have asked to see a copy..but past board members have reviewed a copy..the leak list..and now there is going to be a second committee to review a copy leaked by the first committee. whoa a committee committee. and in the mean time the parking committee cant figure out the old rules.
i swear i dont make this stuff up..
so if your lucky enough to be on the leak list or the committee committee here is a little background music i thought would be fun while you read..and if you are on the board..well.. welcome to the whipping post.
tied to the whipping post..allman brothers
I been run down,
I been lied to,
I don’t know why I let that mean woman make me a fool.
She took all my money, wrecked my new car.
Now she’s with one of my goodtime buddies,
They’re drinkin’ in some crosstown bar.
Sometimes I feel,
sometimes I feel,
Like I been tied to the whipping post,
Tied to the whipping post,
Tied to the whipping post,
Good lord, I feel like I’m dyin’.
i hope deep throat is on the leak list or committee committee..cant wait to peruse the new regs..
they fined me some money
towed my new car
now theyre laughin in some crosstown bar
sometimes i feel
ohhhh whoa a whoa
sometimes i feel
like i been tied to the whipping post
apologies to greg allman
chipmunks…the food of this cat
field mice and fat moles too
but nothings worse than a rat
i can truly say to you
“Poor empty pants With nobody inside them.” ― Dr. Seuss
“Walls have ears.
Doors have eyes.
Trees have voices.
Beasts tell lies. Beware the rain.
Beware the snow.
Beware the man You think you know.
-Songs of Sapphique” ― Catherine Fisher, Incarceron
we have been waiting
i trust you good people are satisfied that once again your fees will undoubtedly have to be used to.. at the least.. consult with your…as little miss sunshine said…fancy pants attorney..if not hire him to defend you from the misplaced whims of a few that have and now threaten to once again sue the association…each and everyone of you.
as i have heard you people say in the past.. clearly a case of the tail wagging the dog…although i am not sure i understand the phrase as i dont understand the need to wag…but thats dogs for you.
and now the hand wringing..supporters of the self proclaimed…will chant..kill lill…the cat must be silenced..while i may be a source of irritation at times..i havent sued anyone nor have i harassed the board…havent cost you a dime…maybe a cheesy bit or two.
oooh.. what shall we do..the building is toxic……well here is a novel idea..remove the poison…put it in quarantine…ignore it…say thats enough..ask for an apology…tell em to stop harassing the board.
maybe people with nothing better to do than harass the majority should consider other hobbies..besides the hobby of harassment..you know…
feed the homeless
save a polar bear..dolphin..or whatever
volunteer at church..or even attend church..another novel idea
feed the cat
visit shut ins
anything that doesnt require spending the associations money to satisfy what ever is void in your life. less money means less cheesy bits for me.
oh, and dont even try to blame the non owners…grandchildren.. and the likes…for this insanity.
now do you remember
this will be my last mass email..albeit a blind one. it has come to my attention that some of you have been pressured..threatened..and in some cases received some pretty nasty..vile.. emails because you didnt remove your name from my email list. so much for kum ba yah.
well enough..everyone remove your name..there will be no more emails to everyone and i apologise for any problems receiving my emails has caused.
from here on out you can read my musings..manifestos..and diatribes at…
yes..thats right.. we are blogging. now all of you who stayed on my email list and were intimidated can read lilly in private without fear of anyone knowing..including the controllers.
please book mark the address for ease of access.
or to make things easier you can sign up to be notified of new news at the bottom of the blog page……..whoa..cool…and no one will know…..not even the controllers.
so please check out the site..i have archived all the past emails for your reading pleasure. also remember all those great music videos…well i have archived those under links. so have fun reliving all the good times we have shared.
Laissez les bons temps rouler.
please feel free to forward this email to those who removed their names..new people who werent on the mailing list..friends..neighbors..renters..your mama..anyone who would get a kick out of reading about the insanity of living in a close knit condo. feel free to copy this email and put under your neighbors door..post in the elevator..bulletin board..wherever.
many thanks to stuie..and all.. who provided the impetus to take this next step.
thanks to the techy people who put this together and gave me a more sophisticated image.
thanks to al gore for inventing the world wide web.
thanks to my financial backers who made this possible.
thanks to deep throat for all the inside information.
and most of all..thanks to all of you who urged me to continue.
vive la revolucion