by lillythehtcat

eagle

by order of

der fuhrer

der parking rules  of vunderland

  1. der fuhrer vill appoint a three person parking komitee  to oversee der process.  der fuhrer vill reign supreme.

  1. fur each haus in der building, residents (owners and undesirables) who own and operate ein licensed vehicle, may choose to be assigned ein parking space on either der lower or der upper deck. residents operating zwei licensed vehicles vill typically be assigned ein space on each deck. under no circumstance vill residents be allowed drei spaces if that deprives another resident of having zwei spaces. if spaces are available.. residents operating drei vehicles will be assigned a dritte space..by seniority.. on der upper deck. each unit will normally be assigned only ein space on der lower deck. vehicles must conform to their assigned spaces..owners of vehicles dat do not conform vill be deported.

  1. ven a unit is sold or leased.. der reassignment of der parking space(s) occupied by der previous tenant(s) vill be determined based on seniority und loyalty to der fuhrer. for undesirables.. reassignment of parking vill be based on der date der lease und their oath to der fuhrer. for owners..der date of closing vill be used to determine seniority. if a space is declined by a resident..der offer vill be made in descending order of seniority..owners und undesirables alike.. until der space (or spaces) is reassigned. der rotating process applies to all spaces that become available.

  1. owners vill not convey their specific parking space(s) to undesirables.. nor can residents assign their parking spaces to other residents. if a resident has a guest living in their unit temporarily (a period of time longer than two weeks)..der resident is to request a parking assignment from der fuhrer for that guest. if der resident is absent during der guests stay.. they should advise their guest to park in their assigned space.. but they must notify der fuhrer of this temporary arrangement.

  1. if an owner moves back into the building ven der undesirable moves out.. der owner will be assigned a parking space(s) by der fuhrer..such space vill be determined solely by der fuhrer.  der owner will then be re-inserted into der rotation based on his/her original date of purchase.

  1. at der inception of this new parking policy..der komitee and der fuhrer vill canvass all residents to determine their parking wants..needs und loyalty to der fuhrer. some reassignment of parking spaces based on seniority..need und loyalty.. may be made in an effort to be fair and equitable to der fuhrer.

  1. no commercial or military vehicles..other than der fuhrers und der fuhrers consort.. are permitted to park on der premises overnight.  a commercial vehicle is considered to be any vehicle other than a standard family commuting car..truck..or motorcycle that is for personal und party use.

  1. guest parking areas are not to be used by residents except for short intervals of no more than two to three hours during daylight hours..unless der resident is cute frauline. residents are urged not to abuse this privilege..or they vill be deported.

  1. restricted parking space vill be provided if possible to those in need.. based on vhat they vill do for der fuhrer.

  1. except for residents moving in or out.. der unloading area at der building entrance and der first space on der inside of der upper level of der parking deck should be used only temporarily..if not being used by der fuhrer or der fuhrers consort.

car

  1. vehicles that require more than one parking space should not be parked on der premises longer than 24 hours..or owner vill be deported.

  1. no servicing of vehicles on der premises is permitted.. except in an emergency.. or that which can be done cleanly and in an orderly manner within the owner’s assigned parking space.

  1. vehicles may not park in der fire lane in front of der locked gate beside der entrance driveway.. or in front of der fire hydrant on der east end of der building.

  1. subleasing or storing vehicles not belonging to der residents is not permitted. storage of non-operative vehicles is not permitted. storage of non-licensed vehicles is not permitted. owners of such vehicles vill be deported.

  1. der parking of vehicles on trailers (boats..motorcycles..cars..etc.) is not allowed for more than 24 hours.

  1. for safety purposes.. when a resident changes vehicles.. it is their responsibility to notify der fuhrer.

  1. violations of parking rules vill be referred by der parking komitee  to der fuhrer for deportation.

lillys note

we apologize to our non wonderland readers who find this offensive

the condo board did not view the rules prior to publication

the condo board has not voted on the rules

the condo board has not voted on the call of a special meeting

the above is against the advice of the association attorneys

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