the marlboro man rides away
last november i wrote the following in an email and republished it in this blog the end of march..
when one of you opens the front door and..gasp..choke..my gawd is the marlboro man living in there or what..the stench of cigarette smoke will literally water your eyes.
and believe you me i caught a lot of flak about this..so yesterday deep throat sends me an email from the management people..
Also, in an effort to control the smell in the lobby, odor control modules will be installed..
the smell in the lobby..well now..thats being awful polite..sounds a lot better than the way i put it..and..odor control modules..jeez can these people write or what..
Rest assured these are non-toxic, non aerosol and unscented.
right..i suppose its fairy dust..come on..who are we kidding here..unscented..sooo..what happens to the stench..or excuse me.. smell..i mean where does it go..does it get sucked into one of the little boxes and stored..and what happens when the little box gets full..do you have to empty the stink..who is going to do that and where..look..living next to a dumpster is bad enough..dont come out here emptying stink boxes.
and..rest assured..everyone knows thats code for..no matter what i say next..exposure to this crap is probably gonna cause a slow painful death..
i mean what happens to the smell..obviously its not like putting on extra foo foo when you dont take a bath..i bet its mind control..has nothing to do with the stench of cigarette smoke..oops smell..these devices zap your brain so your nose doesnt work..and..i bet..if you get zapped too much youll turn into some kind of zombie..
crap..im not liking this..sounds awful dangerous..i mean how will i know if deep throat has had to many cocktails or has turned into a zombie..this is like the apocalypse..zombies..mindlessly driving around the property..crashing into stuff..little ol me..dodging old fart zombies in land-yachts..wait i do that now..huh…anyway..ok probably not mind control..
so look..the smell has to go somewhere..and if its like any smell that deep throat generates..its flammable..so..you are gonna store up all the flammable stink..and some poor schlub lights a match or something..and..blooey..the whole place goes up..
maybe people should just try to be less stinky..sounds safer..