birds..deer..and deep throat

by lillythehtcat

whoooeee..beware…deep throat is in the middle of one major hissy fit…and i probably didnt help..imagine that.  here is what happened..i have edited..censored and generally cleaned things up..but i think you will get the gist.

deep throat comes down..tired..hot and dirty..

me – you look awful..what have you been doing..

ill tell you what i have been doing..i ve been cleaning my damn balcony all morning.

and why did it need cleaning..

my crepe sole sandal wearing tree hugging granola eating nature loving hippy-dippy neighbor has multiple bird feeders and my balcony is getting inundated with bird crap and seed hulls.  its disgusting not to mention unsanitary and a health hazard.

whoa..hang on here dt..birds have to eat..and i happen to like birds..theyre pretty tasty.

you are an idiot..

whoa..

no seriously..you think the birds wont survive without the feeders..what do you think the birds in the woods or across the road in the park eat..

well..i thought maybe they came up to the condo..

really..all the birds in the woods and park are coming up to the condo..

well…uh..

you think the woods and park are full of bird feeders..

well..no but..

no but…birds do just fine on their own..and when they are not eating out of my neighbors feeder..they are not crapping on my balcony..

ok..sorry..

and further more..you can get histoplasmosis from bird crap..it can kill you or make you go blind..

have mercy..blind..

yeah..i had a friend once that had histoplasmosis..blind..ill guarentee you she didnt have any bird feeders.  if your writing a blog about this you better not be inserting a picture of  mister magoo..

right..no problem..

so…uh..did you see the salt lick a certain someone put out back..

what..a salt lick..i have omitted a lot of swearing here..what the hell is he putting a salt lick out back for..

i guess he likes deer..

bullcrap..hes doing it to impress a lady or ladies..hes just trying to get..

whoa..remember the lawyers..

who gave permission to do this in a common area..so now we want to attract deer..let me tell you something..if their legs were shorter we would be calling the exterminator..they are long-legged rats..

i think they are kind of cute..

cute..cute my..more censoring..we spend all kinds of money to landscape the place and they come through like an industrial weed whacker..

further more they carry ticks and deer flies with all kinds of diseases..lyme disease..rocky mountain spotted fever..

yeeeesh..

yeah..and we want to attract them..bring em right up to the condo..lets just put a deer feeder in the lobby..might as well open an ebola lab in the basement while we are at it.

is there any money in ebola labs..

im serious here..we have a bunch of people with no respect for the rules or other people..you know there are people here who are not in the best of health..and anyone of these diseases or other maladies brought on by this vermin could be fatal.

here is what we ought to be buying..

and you..my little puddy tat friend..you better start doing your job and run some of these varmints off the property..

whoa..and with that deep throat stomped away..

lilly

dont even think about calling me puddy tat.

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